Monday, 14 October 2013

Tomb Raiding with the Two T's

So, bright and early, we assembled in the lounge ready to hit the temples.  The guides on our tour were so clever.  They could remember all the names of the temples, who built them, when they were built and which deities they represented. Sadly, I could not retain all the information but I did appreciate all the fine carvings and structures built so long ago.  

Some other things struck me with awe.  Elephants.  Real ones today.  The last time I sat on one of those, I was a toddler at Belle  Vue Zoo.  I can still remember that.  It seemed so high up.  It still looked high now.  Well, it would.  I haven't grown that much since those days.  I considered a ride but I didn't have my big sis to cling on to and Hubby wasn't keen.

The Elephant Parade wasn't the only thing to attract my attention.  A family group of monkeys played by the track.  One little fellow seemed to be in the bad books.  His mum kept boxing his ears.  His brother meanwhile kept us amused with his monkey bar antics on the rope.  Mrs Monkey affectionately picked nits and things from her husband's body.  Ah, a reminder to check Hubby tonight.

Just down the road, an enormous pig was snuffling around on the ground.  All on her own.  No friends.  No owner.  A proper Billy No Mates.  

Achieving a photographic masterpiece was my aim today.  I managed a couple of mirror shots by a large puddle in front of a temple.  Not quite on a par with Hubby's Highland Loch achievements but not bad.  Frank and I almost achieved a unique Tourist on a Kebab shot.  We had been particularly annoyed by this lady.  She constantly jumped in front, just as we were about to shoot.  Unable to throttle her, we decided to poke her in a way that would not hurt.  If anyone out there has the computer skills to slightly adjust the point, I would be most grateful.  

I misunderstood which temple we were at.  I thought this was the famous one where Angelina Jolie had filmed 'Tomb Raider'.  It might have helped if I had watched it beforehand.  Grabbing Nathan, I gave it my best pose.  Sadly I did not have my best leather trousers with me as I feared they would perish in the humidity.  I think Angelina may have a rival!!

The sky decided to cry, so we hopped back into the bus to go for lunch.  This place would not reach the World's Best Restaurant qualifying rounds.  Without air-con, the next best things were a few token fans.  I was wet and wilting.  Orders were taken.  We waited and waited and waited.  The meals trickled out.  By the time most of us had eaten, three still hadn't received theirs.  One of them was HUBBY.  Our guide came to Collect us.  We explained the problem and he went to talk to staff.  Hubby decided he was no longer hungry but angry.  He went off muttering to look round the store.

The wet weather dampened his spirits further until Tania suggested he used his regal powers to stop the rain.  Believe it or not, at the exact time he said it would happen, there was a break in the downpour.  Not only were we able to get our photos, the bridal couple at Angkor Wat got some good shots too.  

Frank was still in amusing photo mode, putting his umbrella in a variety of places, including up his nose.  Tania remonstrated and asked him to be serious in the next shot.  He was.  She wasn't, making bunny ears behind his head.  

This incredible temple was built on several layers.  We were only allowed fifteen minutes to climb the steep steps to the highest level, walk around and descend.  My efforts at The Great Wall and other spots finally paid off.  No need for the resuscitator today.  My camera clicked madly and I arrived back at the stairs to make my descent.  

The rain was falling heavily.  The steep stairway was slippy. (Note the use of alliteration for effect).  On Hubby's advice, I came down sideways.  If any film producers were watching, I was open to offers for a part in their next movie 'The Human Crab'.  Tania must have wanted a part too as she followed the same posturings.  As for Jemma and Pam,  their descents followed a unique 'a..e about face' motion.  But we all landed safely.  

Avoiding puddles on the way to the bus, was the definition of impossibility.  Shoes, socks and, in Nathan's case (sigh) t-shirt, were soaked.  Even the heavily pregnant Frank was dripping but he had kept his 'baby' (camera) dry!  Nothing else for it.  Back to the hotel for hot showers and Happy Hour!!!  

As I prepared to enter the shower, I was horrified.  My feet were black and blue.  Was this a delayed DVT?  I shouted for Hubby who laughed.  What was funny about my anguish?  He had realised it was just dye from my footwear.  In a huff I scrubbed and rubbed.  The feet were clean but my toe nails remained blue.  I looked like a half Goth.  I wanted to wear my best sandals.  My man had the answer.  With a tooth brush and Oral B's whitening best, he produced ten sparkling nails.  What a star he is sometimes.  Just don't tell him.  It will go to his head.

Now, whether it was the drinks imbibed or just our Happy mood, the conversation became a little risqué.  We were exchanging unusual phrases common to our countries. Jemma came out with one which had us bemused but her fellow Australians were in stitches.  We could not understand why someone was spankng a primate.  Of course, once explained we were all hysterical.  This led to my performance of a naughty ditty which I learned many years ago.  Whilst at college, a certain policeman, who shall remain nameless, ( oh, go on then, it was Colin) gave a brilliant performance of this song.  It has remained in my brain ever since.  After several cocktails or glasses of wine, I may just be persuaded to repeat it.  However, Lord David decided it was time to retire before I produced any more songs from my vast Rugby repertoire.  With aching sides from laughing and a happy heart, I floated into oblivion. 

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